For as long as I can remember, I have been in an ongoing argument with the fat cells that contribute to number on the scale that is my weight. Across the years, this number has expanded and contracted and expanded again.
As I reflect on this life long dispute, I feel like I’ve done everything but call in the UN – and recognise the delusion of my first ever diet (when I was skinny by comparison), for crying out loud – I am woman (hear me roar) not a rabbit – loading up on carrots, celery and lettuce…when those fat cells returned with their offspring (apparently fat cells breed like rabbits too)…its as if they’ve come back with sage wisdom encouraging their crew to stick around, let the fun begin.
Turns out they were right, over a few decades they’ve witnessed my attempts to banish them by sacrificing carbs and embracing proteins, make low cal/fat options (which I now know are chemical shit storms); I’ve liver cleansed, detoxed, cut dairy, cut meat, popped pills, swallowed an ocean of water, fasted, meditated, walked, ran, jumped and pumped. I’ve resorted to trickery, bribing my fat cells with one way tickets to famine stricken countries, sending them on their way with a humanitarian heart, turns out their visas expired and were returned to sender *heavy sigh*
Then one magical afternoon while researching (much nicer than stalking) one of my favourite modern world contributors Dr Wayne Dyer, I discovered the story of his daughter Sage and how she ‘broke up’ with her bumps. In short, as a young girl (age 5-6) she had a skin condition that wasn’t responding to a variety of treatments and were about to go down an extreme treatment pathway that the Dyer family were not all comfortable with, when quite literally overnight (like actually) Sage’s bumps disappeared. Sage (now a radiant woman) shares the story of how she had an intentional conversation with her ‘bumps’ that night, talking to them gently about how it just wasn’t possible for them to stay with her body any longer and that it was time for them to go…and that’s exactly what they did – go! That night, they left her body and have never returned.
So it struck me, its time to break up with my Fat Cells….I ran the whole ‘its not you its me’ routine. OMG!! Did they get the message Nooooo – quite the reverse, its like they staged their very own Occupy rally fully supported by social media.
Then it hit me!….. cue profound …AHA MOMENT…I’ve been arguing with the wrong entity!
This bit is hard to relay without sounding like some kind of pity-party BED time story, but I suppose in many ways that’s exactly what it is…my personal BED time story of self-imposed limitation and deprivation all based on what I now recognise as one massive lie.
There was a brief moment in my adult life when I was loving myself sick over how fabulous my body was and weight wasn’t remotely on the agenda – believe it or not – its was my post baby body! Damn straight! I was sooo proud of my body……it made 2 amazing boys and rebounded into a new improved version of my pre-baby body. Ahhh…those were the days, I knew who I was and I was super proud to be me, wore clothes like a super model, had my sexy sizzle on and confidence was my middle name – PUNCH THE AIR!!
Who knows what the actual catalyst was or has continued to be…..but somewhere along the line I’ve bought into a whole bunch of head junk around what’s right or wrong, good or bad, appropriate or inappropriate…..influences from across the spectrum of life from inherited family values to media to movies to books and the list goes on endlessly…..nonetheless, this endless internal banter with “Weight Issues” has been the welcome mat and comfort blanket that has made it easy and interesting for my fat cells to stick around.
HEAR THIS!!!…. Weight Issues – It’s Over!! And by the way, its not me its definitely YOU!!
…and Fat Cells, its up to you – stick around if you want, but you will have to get comfortable with getting out of your comfort zone more frequently, that sky dive earlier this year was just the beginning – its your choice now.
I declare from here on, I promise to embrace who I am, for what I am and live a life that’s truly FUN-filled.