Power up your communication with Three Tiny Tweaks
The most powerful words we ever speak are those we say to our self, about our self, when we are by our self. The edge of these words is the energy behind the language.
Consider.. are we contracting or expanding?
Are we talking ourselves into or out of a scenario?
Are the very words we choose to communicate our desired outcome or destination, do they energize and excite? …or contribute to the exact opposite?
Words have power, use them wisely.
Maya Angelou was famous for this understanding. She was well known for hiring hotel rooms in socially challenged neighbourhoods, because she wanted to capture the energy of the words lived in those environments. When her intention was to write a poem or book to tell the story of hardship and pain …and let’s not forget their RISE.
Additionally, Maya was well known for zero tolerance of toxic behaviour and language in her presence… especially in her home, even asking people to leave if she heard an inappropriate joke.
She consistently affirmed that energy was not welcome in her home.
Words do have energy. Consider the energy behind the words you use when you speak about yourself
or to yourself, about yourself, when you’re by yourself …or with anybody else that matter. There are words we habitually use every day …unconsciously…and we can be forgiven for thinking we’re doing so with good intentions.
Are we really?
Are you open to catching yourself mid-sentence and to ramp up the energy behind the words you speak?
Are you getting in your own way everyday?
You may recognise these three common phrases spoken potentially every single day…and in so doing, have the potential to limit our progress, outcomes and shared experiences.
Tip 1: Need versus Benefit
Consider the word “need”. How often do you catch yourself saying:
- I need to exercise.
- I need to go to the gym.
- I need to eat better.
- I need to drink less.
- I need to save more.
- I need to call my parents.
The list goes on…
What energy do you associated with “need”?
Need is anchored in scarcity and lack; desperation is attached to “need” energetically.
Now, say those same statements and swap in the word “benefit”:
- It would benefit me to exercise
- It would benefit me to go to the gym
- It would benefit me to eat better
- It would benefit me to drink less
- It would benefit me to save more
- It would benefit me to call my parents
One little change and notice the energetic difference between the desperation of needing to versus acknowledging the expensive opportunity benefit offers.
Furthermore, it’s not just I would benefit from, this extends to… we would benefit from, my team would benefit from, our family would benefit from. Benefit by nature, is expansive in all of its associations.
Tip 2: “Have to” versus “Get to”
Consider how and when ‘have to’ flows into conversations and expectations:
- I have to do this report.
- I have to go to work.
- I have to feed the family.
- I have to pick up/deliver.
What energy do you associate with ‘have to’?
‘Have to’ is anchored in obligation, guilt and disempowerment…a toxic energy typically associated with lack of choice and often a sense of despair.
What if we changed ‘have to’ into ‘get to’.. do you notice the difference, the shift from obligation to option? Suddenly, there’s a choice and in some cases this expands to the recognition, the luxury and even privilege of this ‘experience’ it is you ‘get to’ to.
- I get to do this report.
- I get to go to work.
- I get to feed the family.
- I get to pick up/deliver.
The energy associated with “I get to” is that of choice and opportunity; that in and of itself is expansive.
Tip 3: “Yes but” versus “Yes and”
Consider…when someone comes to you with an opportunity, an idea, an invitation, a request…maybe seeking some validation; I’m willing to guess your typical response is “yes, but”. Let’s be honest, in that context, hearing ‘but’ is the equivalent of a door slamming in the face of possibility.
What if, the response was “yes and…”?? Feel the difference?
“Yes, and”…what a game changer…let’s the person know you’ve heard them and you’re interested and open. Yes and…is an expansive, collaborative energy holding the door wide open for opportunity to step through with emerging confidence.
There you have it, Three Tiny Tweaks with the potential to get yourself out the way and on your way toward your deeply desired direction.
* Catch yourself saying, “I need to” stop and say, “it would benefit me to”
* Hear yourself say, “I have to”.. stop and check in with “I get to”
* Next time you hear yourself respond with “yes, but” swap in “yes, and”
Notice the difference these three simple energised words bring to the opportunities and outcomes you experience.